Medical study concludes 007 drinks too much

Sean Connery in a From Russia With Love publicity still

Sean Connery in a From Russia With Love publicity still

A new study published in the BRITISH MEDICAL JOURNAL shockingly concludes the literary James Bond drank too much.

The study lists three authors and says two of them read all 14 James Bond books by Ian Fleming. (Two of the books were short story collections but that hasn’t prevented some outlets SUCH AS THE BBC as referring to 14 Bond novels.)

“Contemporaneous notes were taken detailing every alcoholic drink taken,” according to the study. “Predefined alcohol unit levels were used to calculate consumption. Days when Bond was unable to consume alcohol (such as through incarceration) were noted.” The authors calculated he consumed 92 alcoholic units a week, excluding times when alcohol was unavailable. He had a daily high of 49.8 units, the study said (hic).

“We were struck, while reading the original James Bond books, that his alcohol consumption seemed rather high and wondered whether he would realistically have the capacity to perform (in all aspects of his life)…at his high level of alcohol intake,” the authors wrote.

“Ideally vodka martinis should be stirred, not shaken. That Bond would make such an elementary mistake in his preferences seemed incongruous with his otherwise impeccable mastery of culinary etiquette. We examined Bond’s alcohol consumption to determine whether he might have been unable to stir his drinks because of the persistent shaking of alcohol induced tremor, making it more socially acceptable to ask for his drinks ‘shaken, not stirred.’”

The study also included a graphic indicating Bond started out drinking a lot in 1953, cutting back, more or less, through 1957 before escalating again.

You can guess where this is leading.

James Bond’s weekly alcohol intake is over four times the advisable maximum alcohol consumption for an adult male. He is at considerable risk of developing alcoholic liver disease, cirrhosis, impotence, and other alcohol related health problems, together with being at serious risk of injury or death because of his drinking. Although we appreciate the societal pressures to consume alcohol when working with international terrorists and high stakes gamblers, we would advise Bond be referred for further assessment of his alcohol intake and reduce his intake to safe levels.

We conclude that James Bond was unlikely to be able to stir his drinks, even if he would have wanted to, because of likely alcohol induced tremor.

To view the study, CLICK HERE.

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One Response

  1. I thought it was interesting that they concluded Bond would die by age 56, Fleming’s age at his untimely demise. Of course, all those Balkan cigarettes with three gold rings probably would not encourage underwriters about issuing life insurance for Bond, either.

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