With SPECTRE, 007 ‘Silly Season’ kicks into high gear

Bond spat out an obscenity after reading the articles.

A new James Bond movie is out. So, naturally, it’s time for all sorts of articles to cite Agent 007, while he’s fresh in the public’s mind, to draw attention to themselves.

For example, there’s THIS REUTERS STORY with a headline proclaiming the fictional agent is Britain’s “greatest intelligence asset.”

It begins thusly:

In the 62 years since James Bond first appeared in print, there’s no doubt he has helped boost the reputations of his real-life counterparts in British intelligence.

Later, Reuters (a one-time employer of 007 author Ian Fleming) says, “Bond and his fellow fictional British operatives, however, allow UK intelligence to project an image” that goes beyond reality. “It might have only the most tangential relationship to what really happens, but it still has real-world impact.”

That’s all well and good except THIS BUZZFEED STORY says British Intelligence isn’t exactly embracing the Bond image these days.

The story concerns a recruiting drive.

The launch of the campaign coincides with the release of the latest James Bond movie, Spectre. MI6 bosses are well aware that the film will lead to a flurry of interest in working for the agency.

But the organisation is at pains to make clear that Bond – a gun-toting, Martini-drinking, womanising loner – is not a true reflection of the modern-day intelligence officer. “James Bond would probably not be successful in joining SIS, if he were to apply,” an intelligence source said.

The Wrap entertainment news website summarized the BuzzFeed story with the headline “JAMES BOND COULDN’T GET A JOB AT MI6, AGENCY SAYS.”

Meanwhile, this is also an opportunity to write about how the cinema world of James Bond doesn’t match up with the real one.

For example, some articles point out IT’D REALLY BE HARD FOR BOND TO GET AUTO INSURANCE because he trashes a lot of vehicles.

Elsewhere, we’re told BOND’S PICKUP LINES WITH WOMEN DON’T WORK IN REAL LIFE.

“Dating expert Hayley Quinn set out to find out just how far James Bond’s pickup lines would take a man in real life, so she enlisted the help of fellow blogger Ollie Pearce to test them out in the streets of London,” according to the story.