James Bond characters on Facebook

The old tagline was “JAMES BOND DOES IT EVERYWHERE!” and that’s certainly true of Facebook, the social-networking site. It appears that even 007 characters feel compelled to set up Facebook profiles.

One of the most amusing is Ernst Stavro Blofeld. Under relationship status, we’re told, “It’s complicated.” And, of course, his birthdate is listed as May 28, 1908. Ernst provides frequent status updates such as, “SPECTRE always delivers what it promises. Our entire organization survives upon the keeping of those promises. We’re kinda like an evil UPS.” Or, “Catch me soon as the new band leader on ‘The Tonight Show with Ernst Stavro Blofeld’.” Ernst also regularly trades quips with his Facebook friends.

One of those friends is none other than Jane Moneypenny, listing her birthdate as Feb. 14, 1927 and being single. However for those who believe Moneypenny is “Britain’s last line of defense,” may be in for a shock. She inquired with Ernst about a job in SPECTRE. This Facebook saga has yet to play out.

Auric Goldfinger has also surfaced on Facebook (reports of his death, like Mark Twain’s, were apparently exaggerated. He lists his birthdate as June 5, 1917 and his relationship status is also listed as “It’s complicated.” Gold bullion is listed as both his reglious views and interests.

Felix Leiter is also around and, not surprisingly, is listed as a fan of the Felix Leiter fan page.

Others include Franz Sanchez, Emilo Largo, Carl Stromberg and John Kaufman. (There are others, but hey, we don’t have room for everyone.)

Finally there is Bond James, taking on the guise of the mid-1960s Sean Connery, who seems to enjoy trading quips with Ernst and playing Mafia Wars.

The biography of Auric Goldfinger?

At HMSS, we’re not much into James Bond fan fiction. Why would you put all the time and energy into something you (legally) wouldn’t be able to publish? And, as any aspiring James Bond writer should know, Ian Fleming Publications is not looking for any new Bond authors, or looking at any unsolicited manuscripts.

Having said that, however, we’ve tripped over somebody who’s come up with a pretty cool idea. Roland Hulme, on his Militant Ginger blog, has posted his idea for, and prologue to, a fictionalized biography of one Mr. Auric Goldfinger. Called The First Edition Death Warrant, it examines Goldfinger’s obsessions, his personal drives, and his history. As Mr. Hulme puts it,

I imagined the story of this man’s life. It was exciting, erotic and macabre. As a young man, I envisioned him as a noble sort, outwitting Nazis and Russians during World War II. However, as his obsession with the ‘purity’ of gold increased, Goldfinger himself became more and more corrupt.

We think this is a novel (no pun intended) idea, with some degree of merit. Ian Fleming’s villains are such terrific characters, and loom so large in our imaginations, that we think something like this could be a fascinating read. Hulme says he’s contacted the estate of Ian Fleming to see if they’d be interested. We wish him luck!

Read all about it at the Militant Ginger.