Revisiting Kiss the Girls and Make Them Die (Moonraker ’66)

American agent Kelly (Mike Connors) and British agent Susan Fleming (Dorothy Provine) compare notes in Kiss the Girls and Make The Die

Back in 2008, the blog noted the remarkable similarities between Kiss the Girls and Makes Them Die (1966) and Moonraker (1979).

This week, for the first time in a long time, I had a chance to watch the earlier movie. So here’s a more complete list of similarities.

Homages to Goldfinger and Thunderball: To be clear, Kiss the Girls takes a few cues from Goldfinger and Thunderball.

The villain, industrialist Mr. Ardonian (Raf Vallone) talks the Chinese into helping him. The Chinese supply the rocket from which Ardonian which launch a satellite that will zap the U.S. with radiation that causes men to lose interest in sex. From the Chinese standpoint, this will ensure the U.S. loses its position as the leading world superpower.

That’s similar to how Auric Goldfinger talked the Chinese into supplying him with an atomic bomb as part of his Fort Knox plan.

Except, Ardonian electrocutes a delegation of Chinese officials as part of a double-cross. That’s because Ardonian wants to expose all countries to the radiation. This evokes both Goldfinger (the villain double-crossing the gangsters who were helping him out) and Thunderball (similar to the SPECTRE board meeting where just one person was electrocuted).

There are also a number of “animated sets,” inspired by what Ken Adam designed for the two Bond films.

But there are a number of examples of where how Kiss the Girls reached territory before Bond.

Dorothy Provine’s title card in Kiss the Girls and Make Them Die

Rio: Kiss the Girls and Make Them Die’s only location shooting was in Rio de Janeiro and Brazil. That meant shots of Iguazu Falls (for the main titles), Brazilian Carnival and the Christ the Redeemer statue (the latter not really utilized for Moonraker).

“Sit!”: British agent Susan Fleming, being chased by a large dog of Ardonian’s, turns and yells at him, “Sit!” The dog complies. This is similar to what James Bond (Roger Moore) did with a tiger in Octopussy.

Villain’s plot: Ardonian feels the Earth is headed toward an environmental disaster. So he plans to head off overpopulation with his plan. Meanwhile, he is putting beautiful women into suspended animation. When the time comes, he will repopulate the Earth.

This is pretty similar to Moonraker where Drax plans to kill everybody on Earth while his “orbiting stud farm” eventually repopulates the Earth.

A pair of agents: Eventually American agent Kelly (Mike Connors) and Susan Fleming (Dorothy Provine) join forces after a bit of conflict.

This is pretty similar to how British agent James Bond (Moore) joins forces with American agent Holly Goodhead (Lois Chiles) join forces in Moonraker after a bit of conflict.

Billboards for product placement: Susan Fleming’s tricked-out Rolls Royce, driven by her chauffeur (Terry-Thomas) has a camouflage device. Panels come out from the bottom of the car, move up to the side and extend to look like a billboard for Bulova watches.

Moonraker didn’t have a tricked-out car. But it had billboards for British Airways, Seiko 7-Up and Marlboro as part of its Rio sequence.

Did Jeffrey Epstein see Kiss the Girls and Make Them Die?

Kiss the Girls and Make Them Die poster

You can’t make this up.

The New York Times today came out with a blockbuster story about Jeffrey Epstein, rich hedge fund manager accused of raping under-aged girls. Here are the first two paragraphs:

Jeffrey E. Epstein, the wealthy financier and accused sex trafficker, had an unusual dream: He hoped to seed the human race with his DNA by impregnating women at his vast New Mexico ranch.

Mr. Epstein over the years confided to scientists and others about his scheme, according to four people familiar with his thinking, although there is no evidence that it ever came to fruition.

This sounds uncomfortably like the 1966 spy movie Kiss the Girls and Make Them Die. It starred Mike Connors and Dorothy Provine as American and British agents trying to foil the plot of a rich adversary.

Said villain intends to make mankind sterile in order to avoid an ecological disaster. But the villain has many beautiful women in suspended animation. So when the time comes to repopulate the planet, he’ll take it upon himself to get all those women pregnant.

The plot is awfully similar to 1979’s Moonraker, the 11th James Bond film from Eon Productions. In that movie, Hugo Drax plans to wipe out most of Earth’s population while he operates an orbiting “stud farm.”

Regardless, the natural reaction is something like, “EEEEEEkkkkkkk.” This is supposed to escapist entertainment, not a serious plan.

U.N.C.L.E. script: The show’s popularity surges Part II

Illya and Tracey, anxious for the blog to start Part II of its look at the script of Alexander the Greater Affair.

Dean Hargrove was assigned the task of writing the first two-part story for The Man From U.N.C.L.E. One question: How do you provide a recap at the start of Part II?

Instead of beginning directly with the story’s cliffhanger, Hargrove began back at U.N.C.L.E. headquarters in New York. There, U.N.C.L.E. boss Alexander Waverly wants all communications channels open should Solo and Illya report.

Agent Farrell complains to Waverly about the money Solo and Illya have been spending.

He’s interrupted by “AGENT FARRELL, a harried-looking man” who “enters with an open file.”

“When you do reach Mr. Solo and Mr. Kuryaking, Sir,” Farrell says, “I think it would be good policy to remind them that although they have unlimited expense accounts Budget Control feels this present mission is getting completely out of hand.”

The stage directions indicate Waverly’s reaction is “wry.” “Oh, really.”

Farrell then lists some of the agents’ expenses incurred during Part I. Waverly’s response, according to the script is “dry.” I’ll speak to Mr. Solo about it — as soon as I hear from him.”

FARRELL
Thank you, Sir. We have to hold the line somewhere.

WAVERLY (amused)
Yes, don’t we?

The scene was filmed and used in the TV version of Part II. However, it was clipped from the movie version, One Spy Too Many. As a result, it went unseen for almost 35 years until the TV version was shown on TNT in 2000.

Cliffhanger

Now, it’s back to the cliffhanger, with Alexander, his flunky Parviz and his advisor Mr. Kevon, who walks with a crutch. (Sorry, should have mentioned him in Part I of this post, but we were covering a lot of territory.)

Luckily, the villains have to leave to catch a flight to the United States. This enables Solo to get his legs free from his bonds. He catches the scimitar with his feet. During this maneuver, the script says Solo slices open his trousers. As filmed, that doesn’t happened.

Anyway, Solo uses the scimitar to cut his remaining bonds. As the rope holding Illya and Tracey burns through, Solo grabs it. “The weight of the two people pulls him forward.” Illya and Tracey are now down in the opening to the pit. But Solo ties the rope, preventing Illya and Tracey from descending any further.

Solo and Waverly discuss how to pick up Alexander’s trail.

At the start of Act I, the agents are back at headquarters. Their only lead to Alexander is a health club the industrialist owns in Washington.

‘Out of the Question’

Tracey is at headquarters, too. Waverly initially ponders using Tracyey as bait. “Of course, that’s out of the question,” he says. “It’s far too dangerous. We certainly couldn’t ask her to do that.”

“Solo and Illya share a glance,” according to the stage directions. “I think you’ll find her unusually cooperative,” Illya says.

The trio go to Solo’s office. Tracey latches onto Waverly.

“She stands, extends her hand,” read the stage directions. “In her own way, she takes command — which somewhat unnerves the Section One leader.” She asks to speak privately to Waverly.

SOLO (slyly)
We’ll be outside…in case you need us, Sir.

WAVERYLY (curt)
Thank you.

Naturally, Tracey suggests using herself as bait to get Alexander. And off we go.

Alexander and two generals have a pleasant chat about a planned assassination.

Next up is a “large, sedate-looking Virginia estate.” This is supposed to be at Alexandria, Virginia. Alexander is entertaining “two oriental gentlemen (more Indosesian-looking than Chinese), GENERAL BON-PHOUMA and GENERAL MAN-PHANG. Both are heavily-medaled, wear military uniforms and sunglasses.”

The generals are planning a military coup for their home nation, unaware they’re being manipulated by Alexander. The industrialist gives them the “will gas” he stole from the U.S. Army at the start of Part I.

Alexander will play a central part in the coup. “I have arranged for your Washington Embassy to hold a special party in honor of your country’s President,” Alexander says. “I will be there to make a ‘good-will’ speech. I’ll kill him immediately after my remarks.”

Bon-Phouma says, “I must admit your plan has an almost oriental subtlety.”

After sending the generals on their way home, Alexander is approached by Mr. Kavon. Alexander says the generals are “second rate intellects. I won’t have any trouble using their country as my personal power base. From there I can subvert all of Asia.”

In the course of the conversation, we now learn that Alexander is a protoge of Kavon’s. However, Kevon, is feeling alienated from Alexander. The latter has hinted (via a brochure for a retirement home) that Kevon should take it easier.

Alexander “exits,” according to the stage directions. “Kavon looks after him, a rejected man.”

Breaking a Commandment

It turns out that Alexander drives into Washington. He pays a call to Princess Nicole and breaks the Seventh Commandment with her. Her husband, Prince Phanong arrives.

PHANONG
I’ll kill you.

ALEXANDER
No, you won’t. You’re not suited for it. But don’t worry. I’ll see to it that no one knows you’re not ‘Prince’ enough to keep your own wife. I’m very reasonable.

Phanong knows it’s all too true.

Alexander is doing this to ensure Phanong will support “the junta that will overthrow you new government.” He hangs a framed number 7.

Elsewhere in Washington, Tracey goes into Alexander’s health club. She’s detained by the club staff, who are being supervised by Parviz. Eventually, Solo follows. He gets captured also and is left to the mercies of “INGO, a huge, blond man in a sweatsuit.” In the final version, Ingo would be played by Cal Bolder, who shaved his head and didn’t wear a sweatsuit.

Parviz takes Tracey to Alexander’s health farm. Illya follows but checks in with Solo first via their communicators.

“I’m going to be busy for awhile,” Solo said.

“Solo has his communicator out, backing away from Ingo,” according to the stage directions. “I’m going to be busy for awhile,” Solo tells Illya. “You go ahead.”

Naturally, Solo comes out on top but not without some effort. Illya, after arriving at the farm, walks on the property, where he’s menaced by Alexander’s men operating a variety of farm equipment.

The Russian U.N.C.L.E. agent escapes (thought not after being buried in mud).

Skipping ahead, Alexander plans to take Tracey to the dinner honoring Sing-Mok. He’s the leader of the Asian nation Alexander plans to assassinate. Kevon, who top of anything belongs to an ancient cult (the Sons of Medea), is going to use Illya as the guinea pig in a mummification experience.

Solo arrives but is discovered by Kevon. The latter has a metal blade in his crutch, pointing it at Solo. Illya, bound up like a mummy, falls on top of Kevon.

Eventually, Solo and Illya are following Alexander and Tracey. Alexander loses them, and takes Tracey to the dinner. Solo and Illya have to deal with Parviz and another thug.

Oops for Alexander

By now, U.N.C.L.E. is on alert. But Alexander still has time to try to kill Sing-Mok. However, the coup has failed (apparently without any assistance from U.N.C.L.E.) Sing-Mok is wearing a “protective vest” made by one of Alexander’s own companies.

Alexander makes a run for his farm, where a plane (which we saw earlier when Illya was roaming the grounds) is waiting for him. Solo and Illya give chase. Solo gets in through an open rear aircraft door.

The fight in the script is a bit more involved than the final version.

INT. COCKPIT
Kevon is at the controls. He removes his head-set, picks up his metal crutch and goes back to the passenger cabin. WE HEAR the O.S. SOUNDS of a terrific struggle.

INT. PASSENGER CABIN
Alexander has Solo by the door — choking him. Solo is in danger of falling out of the plane. Kevon moves over to them. Solo shoves Alexander back, Alexander inadvertently runs into Kavon –knocking him down.

Solo is back on his feet. He hits Alexander, knocking him back towards the cockpit. Kavon reaches over, trips Solo with his crutch. Solo falls to the door. Alexander picks up a parachute, throws it at Solo.

ANGLE – SOLO
The parachute hits him chest high — and Solo is knocked out of the plane.

Solo, however, manages to get the parachute on, open it and land safely. Back on the plane. The script description is again more elaborate than the final version.

Kevon tries to kill Alexander with the blade in his crutch. “Alexander deftly ducks aside,” according to the screen directions. Kevon, though, lunges and the crutch “jams into the instrument panel. Sparks. Smoke.”

CLOSE -ALEXANDER
Terror.

LONG SHOT – PLANE
It EXPLODES.

Back at the embassy, it’s a festive mood. Tracey gives Solo and Illya a kiss on the cheek. In the final version, she appears to give Illya a kiss full on the lips.

Tracey now is flirting with Sing-Mok. Director Joseph Sargent would stage the ending differently. Solo and Illya would each offer Waverly a glass of champagne. Waverly would take both. But here’s how Dean Hargrove wrote it.

ANGLE – TRACEY AND SING-MOK

She’s on his arm, talking animatedly.

WAVERLY
Sing-Mok is a single man, you know.

RESUME-GROUP

SOLO
I think she’ll do very well.

They smile, lift their glasses in agreement as we…

FADE OUT

THE END

U.N.C.L.E. script: The show’s popularity surges Part I

Lobby card for One Spy Too Many, the movie edited from Alexander the Greater Affair

The Man From U.N.C.L.E. had escaped cancellation in its first season. At the start of its second, the show’s popularity was surging.

Major changes were underway. Sam Rolfe, who had written the show’s pilot and produced its first season, had departed. Executive producer Norman Felton, who had co-created Napoleon Solo with Ian Fleming, moved over David Victor, producer of Felton’s Dr. Kildare series, to the same post at U.N.C..L.E.

Dean Hargrove, who had scripted two U.N.C.L.E. episodes late in the first season, was hired as “staff writer.” At least that’s how he described it in a 2007 interview that was part of an U.N.C.L.E. home video release.

Hargrove Takes Charge

Hargrove wrote a two-part story, Alexander the Greater Affair, early in pre-production for the second season. It would not be the first story filmed. But NBC would lead off the second season of U.N.C.L.E. with Alexander in September 1965.

NBC would air the two-parter only once After that, it’d be an MGM movie, One Spy Too Many. As it turned out, the TV version wouldn’t be seen (officially, anyway) until July 4, 2000, the final U.N.C.L.E. telecast on cable network TNT.

Hargrove’s script, though, has been available for years. I’ve had one since the 1990s. Re-reading it, you get the sense that U.N.C.L.E. was mostly a smooth-running machine by this point.

The script is pretty close to what NBC viewers saw in 1965. A few scenes are longer, but that’s not unusual. The script’s title page is dated June 14, 1965. Some pages are dated as early as June 1. Some pages are dated as late as July 1965.

We wish to thank the United Network Command for Law and Enforcement without whose assistance this blog post would not be possible.

The Ten Commandments

The plot concerns the mysterious industrialist Alexander (Rip Torn), whose real name is Baxter. Alexander is described in the script as “tall, intelligent-looking, enigmatic” and 32 years old. The part was cast with Rip Torn, 34 at the time the episode was broadcast.

Alexander intends to implement a coup at an unnamed Asian country. That will be part of his plan to eventually rule the world.

Alexander wants to do this with flair. He will have broken every one of the Ten Commandments by the time the coup takes effect.

The industrialist’s activities have come to the attention of U.N.C.L.E. after he has stolen “will gas” from the U.S. Army. One of Alexander’s companies was an Army supplier. So he was invited to a demonstration.

Alexander Waverly, the Number One of U.N.C.L.E.’s Section One gives Napoleon Solo (Robert Vaughn) and Illya Kuryakin (David McCallum) their respective assignments.

SOLO
Which leaves me with…

WAVERLY
Mr. Alexander. It’s most important to recover this gas, Mr. Solo, there was enough of it stole to cause considerable difficult if used improperly. Also, its composition is top secret.

(snip)

SOLO
I’ll find Mr. Aleander and if has the gas…
(wry smile)
I’ll ask him to return it.

Alexander’s primary lackey is Parviz, “a mustachioed Turk.” The part would be cast with character actor David Sheiner. He played an almost identical part in the I Spy episode Carry Me Back to Old Tsing Tao. His appearance and accent in both series is virtually identical.

However, when Sheiner was called back for extra scenes for One Spy Too Many, he’s wearing a bald cap. Sheiner also appeared in a later second-season U.N.C.L.E. episode, The Nowhere Affair. There, he’s wearing a hairpiece.

Meet Tracey

Along the way, Alexander’s ex-wife, Tracey (Dorothy Provine) shows up. She was rich when she married Alexander. She wants the million dollars she had Skipping ahead,

Tracey is the “innocent” for this story. However, I suspect this isn’t exactly what Norman Felton and Sam Rolfe had in mind when devising the show. Originally, the “innocent” was supposed to be a surrogate for the audience, someone who was “ordinary.” Tracey isn’t exactly “ordinary.” But, hey, that’s how things go.

Chess Game 

Skipping ahead, Solo and Illya crash a party Alexander is throwing. Alexander has already abducted Tracey, so she’s there also.

Solo has been investigating, but he’s getting some heat from Parviz. Thankfully (from Solo’s perspective), Alexander likes to play chess with human chess pieces (in this case the party guests). So Solo takes Alexander up on his challenge and avoids problems with Parviz.

The party is part of Alexander’s plans. Alexander explains it to Tracey.

ALEXANDER
The party that I’m holding this evening to honor Prince and Princess Phanong has a special significance. The Princess is an admirer of mine. Her husband, however, is an obsessively jealous man. He misinterprets the Princess’ appreciation for me.

TRACEY
Just how much does she appreciate you? If you don’t mind my asking.

ALEXANDER
(matter of fact)
She worships me. I allow it because I think it’s healthy for a young woman to have an idol.

Tracy knows better than to laugh, so she tries to appear very sincere.

The Princess is described as “a beautiful French girl in her middle twenties.” The part was cast with Donna Michelle, a one-time Playboy playmate. The prince was cast with veteran character actor James Hong.

Anyway, when we get to the chess game, there are some details that didn’t make the final version.

ALEXANDER
It’s a shame your husband was detained. A major disappointment.
(smiles)
Now when do you suppose he will arrive?

PRINCESS
(smiles knowingly)
The Prince received an emergency call to go and see his mother. I suspect she’ll keep keep him occupied for some time. They’re very close.

ALEXANDER
Well then, let’s begin the entertainment.

Solo prepares to play chess with Alexander. There’s another exchange that wouldn’t make the final version.

WOMAN – SOLO’S POV

A matronly woman standing on one of his square.

WOMAN (smiles)
I’m your queen.

RESUME – SOLO

SOLO (smiles wryly)
I’ll try very hard not to lose you.

The game unfolds. The script refers different diagrams that weren’t part of the script I have. After a few moves, Alexander makes a comment that doesn’t appear in the show.

ALEXANDER
I see. The Vienna gabmit. Rather pedestrian, Mr. Solo. Pawn takes pawn.

The script moves the game ahead. Solo sacrifices his Queen. “The matronly woman looks over at Solo, somewhat hurt,” according to the stage directions. But Solo puts Alexander into checkmate. Solo celebrates his win by dancing with the princess. What follows pretty much follows the final version.

“It’s lucky for you I’m a busy man,” Solo says while not drawing a revolver.

Suddenly, Solo is confronted by PRINCE PHANONG. The Prince slaps Solo.

PHANONG
I will kill any man who makes indecent advances to my wife. Let this be a warning to you.

The people around them are shocked. Even more so when Solo draws his revolver. (emphasis added.)

SOLO
It’s lucky for you I’m a busy man.

The problem: Solo never carried a revolver unless he relieved one off a thug. The U.N.C.L.E. Special was a semi-automatic pistol. The main version was based on the Walther P-38. Evidently, despite having written two U.N.C.L.E. episodes prior to this, Hargrove didn’t know much about firearms.

Later, Solo, Illya and Tracey check out a rock quarry owned by Alexander. They encounter his parents, Harry and Miriam Baxter, who are kept prisoners.

Middle-aged HARRY BAXTER, dressed in tattered evening clothes and middle-aged MIRIAM BAXTER, dressed in the ragged remains of a formal gown stand at the bottom of the pit. The Man holds a pick-axe in his hand, the woman lowers a wheelbarrow full of rocks to the ground as they look thi way. Their feet are chained.

The scene was only shown in the TV version. It would edited out of One Spy Too Many. In the TV version, David McCallum’s Illya has a line not in the script. “Let’s get those chains off!” It’s a great moment. Was it a last-minute revision in the script? Or a McCallum ad-lib? I don’t know.

Suffice to say, the U.N.C.L.E. agents rescue Alexander’s parents after a chase sequence. The agents also head to an ancient Greek temple where Alexander is running things.

Solo in a tight spot at the end of Part I.

Tables Are Turned

Solo gets to explain how he figured out the Ten Commandments angle and how this was all a trap. Nevertheless, Alexander gets the upper hand.

ALEXANDER
You see, Mr. Solo, you’ve only scratched the surface. I am breaking the universal law of morality — call them the Ten Commandments if you like — but for a special reason.

The script (as in the TV version) ends with a cliffhanger. Solo is tied up, a scimitar swinging ever closer to him. Illya and Tracey are tied together, held above a bottomless pit, with a candle burning the rope.

ANGLE – ILLYA AND TRACEY

TRACEY
Now what are we going to do?

ANGLE – SOLO AND THE SCIMTAR

The huge blade swings down, getting closer and close.

SOLO
The best we can.

FADE OUT

END OF PART i

Robert Day, Avengers and QM director, dies

Caesar’s Wife, a fourth-season episode of The FBI, directed by Robert Day. Spymaster Russell Johnson (left) is about to beat up Harrison Ford.

Robert Day, whose long career included directing episodes of The Avengers and Quinn Marin television shows, died on March 17 at the age of 94, Deadline: Hollywood reported.

The British-born Day helmed six episodes of The Avengers, including From Venus With Love and Mission…Highly Improbable.

Relocating to the United States, Day was frequently employed by QM Productions, including nine episodes of The FBI, two episodes of The Invaders, Barnaby Jones and The Streets of San Francisco. He also directed a TV movies for QM, 1970’s House on Greenapple Road, which launched the Dan August TV series.

Day’s work on The FBI, included a notable fourth-season episode, Caesar’s Wife, in which a Soviet spymaster played by Russell Johnson beats up a character played by the then-unknown Harrison Ford.

Day was married to actress Dorothy Provine from 1969 until she died in 2010. Her spy-related credits included a two-part episode of The Man From U.N.C.L.E. and the movie Kiss the Girls and Make Them Die.

Day was also the brother of Ernest Day (1927-2006). The younger Day was a second unit director of The Spy Who Loved Me and Moonraker and the 1996 Mission: Impossible movie, as well as directing two episodes of The New Avengers.

Familiar meme: megalomaniac environmentalists

This weekend’s U.S. release of Kingsman: The Secret Service marks the return of a familiar meme in spy entertainment — the megalomaniac environmentalist who has the means to take radical action (i.e. wipe people out) to restore ecological balance.

This is a sampling of both television and movie efforts.

Dr. Loveless (Michael Dunn) looks displeased with associate Kitten Twitty (Jenie Jackson)

The Wild, Wild West: The Night of the Murderous Spring (first broadcast April 15, 1966): Dr. Loveless, after three prior defeats by U.S. Secret Service agents James West and Artemus Gordon, is in the midst of his biggest scheme yet.

Loveless (Michael Dunn) arranges to use West (Robert Conrad) as a test subject for his newest discovery. When Loveless’ powder is mixed with water, it’s absorbed into people. When that happens, they lose their inhibitions and their aggressive tendencies are magnified. The powder also causes hallucinations.

In separate incidents, West imagines he kills Loveless and Gordon (Ross Martin). When the real Arty gets into town, he’s told West has been taken to a hospital. It’s really a cover for Loveless’s hideout.

The plan is revealed. Loveless will use a large number of birds to distribute his powder. It’s the start of spring. The birds will reach water, spread the powder and people will kill themselves. Loveless provides a demonstration where the bulk of the “hospital’s” staff kill themselves off.

West and Gordon barely avert catastrophe. Loveless and two women, Antoinette and Kitten Twitty, flee on a boat across a lake. West shoots a hole in the boat and it sinks. After 20 minutes, the agents give up. Bad move, but that won’t become evident until the show’s second season.

Kiss the Girls and Make Them Die poster

Kiss the Girls and Makes Them Die (1966): Ardonian (Raf Vallone) is concerned about the prospects of overpopulation. (The world’s population was about 3 billion at the time, it reached 7 billion in 2011.)

Ardonian, being a megalomaniac, isn’t content to just fret. He plans to launch a satellite that will zap the earth. Sexual activity will stop and the population will decline naturally as people die off.

Meanwhile, Ardonian is abducting various beautiful women and having them frozen. When it’s time to repopulate the Earth, Ardonian will have sex with the women and get them pregnant.

Ardonian’s activities, however, don’t go unnoticed. American agent Kelly (Mike Connors) and British agent Susan Fleming (Dorothy Provine) eventully join forces and foil the scheme.

The Malthusian Affair, unmade television movie, 1976: Sam Rolfe wrote the pilot for The Man From U.N.C.L.E. and was its first-season producer. In 1976, he was hired to write a new U.N.C.L.E. television movie that would double as a pilot for a new series.

The title refers to Thomas Robert Malthus (1766-1834), who warned about population growth in his day.

The head of Mogul Industries is a big believer in Malthus. So he’s going to kill off vast numbers of people to restore ecological balance and run things himself. (Funny how megalomaniacs never volunteer to sacrifice themselves.)

U.N.C.L.E. agents Napoleon Solo and Illya Kuryakin, aided by two younger agents, put a stop to the plan. But their luck with studio executives wasn’t nearly as good so the story never went before the cameras.

For more information, CLICK HERE For The Man From U.N.C.L.E. episode guide’s page on never-made U.N.C.L.E. projects.

The Spy Who Loved Me poster

The Spy Who Loved Me (1977): Industrialist Karl Stromberg (Curt Jurgens) is concerned about the world’s oceans. All those billions of people keep polluting them.

Solution: Snatch nuclear submarines and launch their missiles to start a nuclear war. Stromberg uses a specially built freighter. Its front opens up, swallowing up the subs. Stromberg also has some kind of electronic device to disable the submarines, making it easier to make off with them.

James Bond (Roger Moore) and Soviet agent Triple-X (Barbara Bach) are assigned by their respective governments to find the missing submarines. Similar to Kiss the Girls and Make Them Die, the two agents initially oppose each other before joining forces.

The two are aboard a U.S. submarine to observe Stromberg’s massive ship when the megalomaniac adds that sub to his collection. The timing is good. Stromberg is just about to execute the final stages of his plan. Long story short, the plan is foiled, Bond kills Stromberg and Bond and Triple-X have sex.

Moonraker teaser poster

Moonraker (1979): Industrialist Hugo Drax (Michael Lonsdale) has two obsessions — the exploration of space and fixing the environmental mess on Earth.

Like other megalomaniacs, he concludes it’s best to kill off most people, leaving himself in charge. He already has a space station in orbit that nobody knows about because it has a radar jamming system. He plans to make it into an orbiting “stud farm” to repopulate the Earth after he kills off everybody except himself and his employees.

Drax makes his first mistake when he steals one of his own Moonraker shuttles from the British. One of the shuttles Drax planned to use developed a fault. The problem with this move is the British are rather annoyed (they’ve lost a 747 aircraft and its crew was killed). So James Bond (Roger Moore) is on the case.

Bond begins his investigation in Southern California, where the Moonrakers are made. It turns out the CIA has an operative, Holly Goodhead (Lois Chiles), working undercover there. Like Mike Connors and Dorothy Provine….well, you can guess by now what happens.

The story goes to Venice to Rio to the Brazilian rain forest to, eventually, Outer Space! (as it says in the end titles listing the locations.) The space station will launch globes of a deadly poison to kill off Earth’s population. After dispatching Drax, Holly flies a Moonraker while Bond destroys three launched globes (the others were destroyed previously) with a laser.

Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015): Samuel L. Jackson’s Valentine is the latest megalomaniac to decide he’s the man to solve Earth’s environmental problems.

We’ll avoid the specifics. His plot is similar Dr. Loveless’s, except Valentine’s involves electronics, rather than a chemical.

This being the 21st century, things are nastier. We witness a demonstration of Valentine’s device. Also, it’s implied Valentine is at least partially successful. Hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of people may have died before the plot was stopped.

45th anniversary of TV spy mania part I: U.N.C.L.E.’s 2nd season premier

September is the 45th anniversary of television spy mania. With James Bond films helping to create a market for spy entertainment, U.S. television networks decided they needed to meet that demand. The Man From U.N.C.L.E., already on the air for a year, had a head start but faced its own challenges as well as new competitors.

To begin with, NBC shifted the show to Fridays from Mondays, plus moving it to 10 p.m. ET. Would the show’s viewers follow suit? Also, Sam Rolfe, who had written the show’s pilot and had been its first-season producer, had departed. Rolfe’s associate producers (Joseph Calvelli in the first half of season one, Robert Foshko in the second half) were also long gone.

Executive Producer Norman Felton initially brought over David Victor, producer of Felton’s Dr. Kildare series to U.N.C.L.E.’s producer chair. The production team also relied heavy on two writers, Dean Hargrove and Peter Allan Fields, who had penned U.N.C.L.E. scripts during the second half of season one. As it turned out, Victor would be but one of three producers that season, but he would oversee production of the first several episodes.

NBC opted to begin season two with the show’s first two-part story, written by Hargrove and directed by Joseph Sargent, Alexander the Greater Affair (no “The” in the title). Felton’s Arena Productions would then re-edit the story into the movie One Spy Too Many. Hargrove’s story featured the mysterious industrialist Alexander, whose idol was Alexander the Great. Alexander also wanted to take over the world, starting with an unnamed Asian country and break each of the Ten Commandments as part of his plan.

The television version of the story was never rerun by NBC and was left out of the syndicated package MGM would offer later. A print was discovered in Atlanta in 1999 and would be shown by TNT on July 4, 2000. It has been available (including on DVD) ever since.

Here’s a clip from midway part one, where U.N.C.L.E.’s Napoleon Solo (Robert Vaughn) plays Alexander (Rip Torn) in an unusual game of chess. Fellow agent Illya Kuryakin (David McCallum) and Alexander’s ex-wife (Dorothy Provine) look on:

UPDATE: We originally embedded a clip from Part I, but the person who uploaded it took it down. So instead, here’s a sampling of the footage that was added to the movie version. Yvonne Craig showed up in One Spy Too Many as an U.N.C.L.E. woman Solo supposedly had scheduled a date with but can’t remember doing so:

Dorothy Provine, RIP

Sad news: Dorothy Provine, whose acting credits included some 1960s spy entertainment, has passed away at the age of 75.

Ms. Provine appeared in various things, including It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. But for our purposes, we feel it’s worth noting two credits.

One, she appeared in the second-season opener of The Man From U.N.C.L.E. which was titled “Alexander the Greater Affair” (with the “The” that was used in most MFU episode titles). It was re-edited into the U.N.C.L.E. movie One Spy Too Many.

She was also starred as a British agent working along side American agent Mike Connors trying to foil a madman trying to take over the world in 1966’s Kiss The Girls And Make Them Die (with a plot and locations that seem awfully famiar to those who’ve viewed Moonraker, the 1979 007 film).

Here’s that trailer:

The inspiration for Moonraker?

It has been speculated that 1966’s “Kiss the Girls and Make Them Die,” produced by veteran schlockmeister Dino De Laurentiis and directed by Henry Levin (who also helmed two Matt Helm movies), may have been the “inspiration” for 1979’s “Moonraker.” At the very least there are some similarities Among them:

–A rich industrialist decides the world is getting overpopulated.
–The rich industrialist’s plan involves space launches. (In the case of the 1966 movie, he’s going to launch a satellite into orbit that will make men sterile; meanwhile, he’s putting beautiful women in “suspended animation” so HE can repopulate the world at the proper time).
–A British agent and an American agent are initially in competition but later join forces. In the earlier movie, the man is an American (Mike Connors) and the woman British (Dorothy Provine).
–Both films are shot in Brazil and make use of some of the locations.

Anyway, here’s the trailer:

And here are the main titles: