“Casino Royale” predigested for easy consumption — and laughs

John Crace - The Guardian

John Crace - The Guardian

The Books section of the Guardian’s website has been running a delightful humor series called “Digested Classics.” Author John Crace writes shortened parodies of famous novels, accurately catching their original authorial voice in a skillful pastiche.

Up for the treatment this week is Ian Fleming’s Casino Royale. Crace manages to cram the entire story down into about 20 paragraphs, while still leaving room for some Fleming-esque touches:

“I think not,” Bond smiled. “Suivi.” Two queens. Zero. It was desperate. Then a nine. “Banco”, Le Chiffre was bankrupt. The job was over. Now for Vesper’s cold and arrogant body. “Oh Jamms,” she cried, “I want you but first I must see Mathis.”

You can (and should!) read the whole thing RIGHT HERE. It will only take you a couple of minutes, and you’re guaranteed a giggle or two.

Don’t know how to read? Well, lucky for you then — you can listen to the narrated version without further stress to your rods and cones.