Our modest proposals for click bait 007 lists

Bond had become bored by the click bait lists

WHAT CULTURE, an entertainment website consisting primarily of “click bait” lists and photo galleries, may have topped itself this time: 25 Greatest Ever James Bond Villains.

Stop and think about that for a moment. The 007 film series produced by Eon Productions consists of 23 (soon to be 24, with SPECTRE) movies. Toss in the two non-Eon movies (the 1967 Casino Royale spoof and 1983’s Never Say Never Again), you reach 25, soon to be 26.

The 25 greatest James Bond villains of all time? Not exactly a high bar for a “greatest ever” list — even if you assume each film has an average of two, a mastermind and a lead thug.

If that’s now the standard, perhaps we’ll soon see “click bait” lists:

25 hottest James Bond women: The whole point of “click bait” is to get readers to click on the story and, with photo galleries, get them to keep clicking. The more clicks, the better the ad revenue. Well, sex usually sells and such a list/photo gallery would include lots of photos of women in skimpy bathing suits.

It works on a grander scale for Sports Illustrated’s swimsuit issue. With Bond actresses, a number of them have posed either in swimsuits or less.

Note: This blog, back in 2008 when it was associated with the Her Majesty’s Secret Servant website (1997-2014), ran a post called ZOO’s Top 10 Sexiest Bond Girls. It’s still the most clicked upon individual post after all these years. (The No. 1 slot is the main website address for the blog.) And that post only had one thumbnail photo of You Only Live Twice’s Mie Hama. (We don’t get any ad revenue. If you see an ad on a post, WordPress.com is collecting the money.)

Top 20 James Bond cars: After sex, comes automobiles. Photo galleries featuring cars are often good as “click bait.” Twenty-five might be stretching things, but 20 may be a more manageable number while providing the appearance of standards.

Top 15 James Bond aircraft: Aircraft can be visually appealing. With the Bond series, a number would probably be helicopters, including the famous Little Nellie mini-copter from You Only Live Twice. The trick would be to start with No. 15 and work your way up, to keep readers clicking away, wondering when they’d see Little Nellie.

Top 10 Most Overrated James Bond movies: One way to get readers to click is to make them mad. By setting the number at 10, chances are you’d offend a wide range of 007 fans and get them to click all the more.

Meaningless: Lists of top ten 007 movies

“I’m sorry, 007. You’re not generating enough clicks.”

Over the past 15 years, the Internet has turned journalism upside down (and then some). Example: “list-icles” such as Top 10 James Bond movies.

Background: there have been 23 films (soon to be 24) in the James Bond film series produced by Eon Productions. Top 10 means you’re almost halfway through the complete series. That’s like, say, bragging about getting a “Top 20” series in a NASCAR auto race when there are 43 cars to begin with.

Yet, the Internet has transformed “click bait” into a premium. You could do a “Top 10” Bond movie list at random but you’d get 007 fans to click on the link. They’d argue, debate, etc. That wouldn’t matter. As long as they clicked on the link, the purpose of the story would be served.

A few recent examples: a Top 10 list by a website CALLED ASKMEN. A James Bond countdown from THE ROTTEN TOMATOES website. A WHAT CULTURE list of the top 10 007 movies.

It doesn’t matter how these (or many other such stories) have done careful reasoning, informed analysis, etc. It’s all about the clicks. In the Internet “journalism” (such as it is) of the 21st century, it’s all’s about the clicks. The clicks drive traffic, the traffic drives advertising revenue, etc.

With that background, analysis takes a back seat to emotion, such emotion will spur people to agree or criticize. If an article generates enough clicks, it’s worth it.

A View To a Kill’s 30th: no more Moore

A View to a Kill’s poster

To sort of steal from Christopher Nolan, A View To a Kill isn’t the Bond ending Roger Moore deserved, but it’s the one that he got when the film debuted 30 years ago this month.

Producer Albert R. Broccoli had prevailed at the box office in 1983 against a competing James Bond film with Sean Connery, Broccoli’s former star. Broccoli’s Octopussy generated more ticket sales than Never Say Never Again (with Connery as de facto producer as well as star).

That could have been the time for Moore to call it a day. Some fans at the time expected Octopussy to be the actor’s finale. Yet, Broccoli offered him the role one more time and the actor accepted.

Obviously, he could have said no, but when you’re offered millions of dollars that’s easier said than done. There was the issue of the actor’s age. Moore would turn 57 during production in the fall of 1984.

That’s often the first thing cited, such as THIS SUMMARY OF THE MOVIE posted on April 2 by What Culture, an entertainment website that specializes in “click bait” lists.

However, the problems go deeper than that. As we’ve written before, the movie veers back and forth between humor and really dark moments as if it can’t decide what it wants to be.

Typical of A View To a Kill’s humor

Director John Glen and screenwriters Richard Maibaum and Michael G. Wilson constantly go from yuks and tension and back again. If the humor were better, that might be easier to accept. Typical example: In the pre-titles sequence, there’s an MI-6 submarine that’s supposed to be disguised as an iceberg but its phallic shape suggests something else.

For those Bond fans who never liked Moore, just mentioning the title of the movie will cause distress. Based strictly on anecdotal evidence over the years, many times admirers don’t mention it as one of his better 007 efforts.

We could critique the movie further, but most fans have heard it all before and, honestly, we don’t feel like going over the same ground here. If you want to experience that, go to a James Bond fan group on Facebook, type in, “I really like A View To a Kill,” and read the responses come in.

Regardless whether you’re a critic of Moore as 007 or a fan, he did hold down the 007 fort through some hectic times (including the breakup of Broccoli with his 007 producing partner Harry Saltzman). It would have been nicer to go out on a higher note than A View To a Kill. But storybook endings usually only happen in the movies.