Phrases long-time 007 fans will recognize instantly

Well, he did say, “Hit me.”

You can tell when long-time James Bond fans get together. They’re likely to say phrases that make no sense to the average person.

“Cai…Cai…CAIRO!” In the pre-titles sequence of Diamonds Are Forever, James Bond is hunting down Ernst Stavro Blofeld. Apparently in Japan (no doubt a sound stage at Pinewood Studios), 007 throws a would-be informant through a couple of paper walls.

Finally, Bond asks, “Where is Blofeld?” The informant says, “Cai…Cai…Cairo!” What makes the sequence is the informant’s mouth movements don’t remotely match the words he’s supposedly saying. For Bond fans, that’s part of the fun.

“Hit me.” In the next scene of Diamonds, we see a casino in Cairo. You can tell by the guys wearing a fez that This Must Be in The Middle East.

One is playing blackjack and says, “Hit me.” Cue Bond punching the guy out.

“Opening crater…Closing crater.” Those are the only lines that a lower-level SPECTRE employee we’ve dubbed “Crater Guy”  gets to utter in You Only Live Twice.

Crater Guy, well, opens the closes the door to SPECTRE’s volanco headquarters in the movie. He’s not a mastermind (Blofeld is). He’s not even a henchman (Hans is).

Crater Guy, no doubt, is a working stiff just trying to feed his family. Bond kills him but can’t kill Blofeld, the guy who started all this trouble. The blog suspects this could spur academic papers about how Bond tramples on the working class.

Clifton James as Sheriff J.W. Pepper in Live And Let Die

“You made a shocking mess of my hair, you sadistic brute!” That’s a line from SPECTRE assassin Fiona Volpe (Luciana Paluzzi) in Thunderball after she’s made love with Bond.

Occasionally, when Bond fans get together, they come up with, eh, more colorful variations of the first half of the line. All spoken in an Italian accent (matching Paluzzi’s), of course.

“What are you, some kind of doomsday machine, boy?” That’s probably the most memorable line spoken by Sheriff J.W. Pepper (Clifton James) in Live And Let Die.

Bond fans, in addition to that line, are known to utter other Pepperisms such as, “I got me a regular Ben Hur down here, doing 95 minimum.”

James passed away recently. Most obits referenced Live And Let quite a bit. That reflects how the New York-born actor stole the scenes he was in for the eighth James Bond film.

Quotes that make little sense (except to 007 fans)

“What does that mean, anyway?”

What follows are quotes that make little sense taken out of context — except for James Bond fans who’ve seen the movies over and over again.

Here they are, presented with no context. Most Bond film fans have the context memorized.

Some of these lines will even bring a laugh to a Bond fan, while those nearby would be baffled.

“Cai…Cai…CAIRO!”

“More! More pow-wah! DO IT!”

“I’ll buy you a delicatessen — in stainless steel!”

“That’s as bad as listening to the Beatles without earmuffs.”

“I have a slight inferiority complex.”

“I got a brudder!”

“Openin’ crater…Closin’ crater.”

“Let the sport…commence!

“Just a drop in the ocean.”

“Somebody sent their brain trust down to meet you.”

“Humility is the worst form of conceit.”

“That’s extra, man.”

UPDATE: There are more, of course.

“You really do have a magnificent abdomen.”

“This beautiful girl will be locked into a steel cage and will change very slowly into a ferocious 450-pound gorilla.”  (from reader Steve Oxenrider)

“Ptth! American motorists kill that many every two years.” (from reader Gary Firuta, down in the comments section)

“Japanese proverb say, ‘Bird never make nest in bare tree.'”

Salute (sort of) to YOLT’s “Crater Guy”

James Bond movies aren’t known for their working-class characters. But if you look closely, they are present. Take, for example, “Crater Guy” from You Only Live Twice.

“Crater Guy” (we’re never actually told his name) is the fellow who opens and closes SPECTRE’s entrance to its secret Japan headquarters built inside a supposedly extinct volcano. He activates a switch so a camouflaged door (designed to look like a lake in the volcano) so SPECTRE helicopters can come and go and, of course, so SPECTRE’s “interceptor” rocket can snare U.S. and Soviet spacecraft. Also, he must utter the critical words, “Openin’ crater…closin’ crater.”

We’re never given any backstory to “Crater Guy.” But we imagine he’s a working stiff, just trying to feed his family. Our guess is the SPECTRE crater job was probably the best-paying job he ever had. Maybe he even got the job by answering a want ad a SPECTRE front took out.

“Crater Guy,” perhaps, even had his own ambitions. One day, he might have worked his way up to mastermind. Unfortunately, it all ended rather suddenly — and badly — as shown at the 7:18 mark of this video: